I’ve written what feels like 7,000 drafts of blog posts over the last few weeks, and honestly, they all read like they were written by 7,000 different people. That’s what this rollercoaster of hormones does—it makes me feel like a different person every single day.
Right now, in this moment, I’m furious. Furious at this whole menopause shit. Furious that I still haven’t heard back about my specialist referral. Furious that I have to chase it up when some days, even the smallest tasks feel like the final straw.
It’s like I’m walking a tightrope, and the slightest thing—a bang of my elbow, my clothes catching on a door handle, dropping a fork while emptying the dishwasher—could send me spiralling into either a flood of tears or a blind rage.
I had a couple of relatively calm weeks where I felt somewhat in control, but I can feel that slipping away. The panic is bubbling beneath the surface, and I hate it.
All I want is to feel normal. Not ecstatic. Not like I’m winning at life. Just normal. I want to be able to make basic, everyday choices without feeling so soul-crushingly overwhelmed. I don’t want to be afraid of sitting still because my thoughts might turn dark. I don’t want to question every life decision I’ve ever made just because my hormones are tanking.
Ten years ago, I don’t remember feeling like this. So why now?! Oh yeah. Fucking hormones.
And this is where my frustration turns to fury. Why weren’t we taught about this? Why weren’t we warned what was coming? Why is the medical profession just as clueless as we are?
And while I’m at it—why the hell are so many people cashing in on menopause? Everywhere I turn, there’s another so-called expert peddling nonsense, promising to “fix” me—help me lose weight, prevent hair loss, make me happier. It’s disgusting. They wouldn’t do this with cancer or any other serious medical condition. Yet, here we are, bombarded with snake oil salesmen while we suffer.
If you want to see just how bad it is, go on Reddit. There are thousands of women struggling—women from all walks of life, all levels of health and fitness—and yet, they’re all experiencing the same thing. Where is the focus? Why is this not a bigger priority?
Half the UK population is over 40. This is not a niche issue. It’s not a choice. Every woman will go through this, one way or another. So why do we have to fight to be heard? Why do we have to pay extra for private healthcare? Why do we have to sit on NHS waiting lists for something that is affecting millions of us?
Menopause isn’t optional. We don’t get to decide whether or not we lose our hormones. It’s happening to all of us. And yet, we’re still expected to just “get on with it” while being ignored, dismissed, and exploited.
I’m sick of it.
